Waiting for Audition Results from MYA

At the beginning of April, I auditioned for the Concert Orchestra at Midwest Young Artists.  I know that the results should be mailed out this week, and I'm really nervous about whether I'm going to make it or not.  I think it may be more nerve-wracking to wait for audition results than it is to actually audition.

Lately, I'm working on the Danzi Concerto, a little on the Stamitz Concerto, and a lot on the Saint-Saens Sonata.  I really like the Saint-Saens Sonata.

Oh, and I'm thinking about going to the Geneva Grandquist music competition at the end of June. 

I really want school to end so I can play more music!

MYA Audition

Two weeks ago during spring break I auditioned for MYA's Concert Orchestra. The pieces I auditioned on were the third movement of Five Bagatellas by Finzi and the first movement of Stamitz's third clarinet concerto. When I arrived at MYA, I went into a practice room. I was nervious. When I was warming up, I played too fast, and I messed up notes that I don't normally mess up. When I found out Mr. Pearson ( my orchestra's conductor) was the one recording my audition I was relieved. I like Mr. Pearson. He is friendly and energetic, and he makes everyone feel comfortable. Still, the same group of judges would look at my audition tape, even if the person recording me was someone I didn't know or someone who made me nervous.

Three of my siblings were auditioning around the same time as I was. My sisters played first. My sister Eowyn was auditioning on horn, and afterwards Mr. Pearson told me that she had done very well.

I went back to the practice room, and I kept practicing, better than before but still not as good as I normally play. After my other sister Rowena auditioned on cello, and my older brother Ari finished auditioning on viola, it was my turn. I started to feel really nervous again. I stared at the music stand, outside of the office that listed all of the people auditioning that day and their grade in school. My grade was listed as 78. I think my mom made a mistake. I laughed about my mom, and that made some of my nevousness go away. Mr. Pearson said that it was time, and I went in and started my audition. I played my scales really well, and I was surprised because I thought I wouldn't do very well, because I didn't do well in the practice room. I've memorized all of my major scales for 2 or 3 octaves, and I play them every day. Still, auditions make easy things seem hard. Then I played my orchestral excerpts, and I played the Finzi. Finally it was time for my hardest picece the Stamitz concerto. The piece seemed to drag on and onl, but I did really well.

After the audition I went home thinking I had done my best. If I make the Concert Orchestra, that will be great. I will be very excited. But if I don't, that's okay too. I like playing in my current orchestra, and there's always next year. If I've learned anything about auditions this year, it's that you never can tell what the judges will think.

The Third Chair Disaster

I just found out on Saturday that I made third chair in my MYA seating audition.  When I looked at the chair seatings, I found the clarinet section, and I looked for my name. It was the third name on the list. I felt sick to my stomach. I cared a lot about this seating audition. I practiced a lot for it. In the month leading up to the audition, I had practiced the selections for hours and hours. The day before the seating audition, I had practiced the audition selections for 3 hours total!

There are 4 chairs in the clarinet section in the Philharmonia Orchestra.  So that makes me second to last, and I have the 2nd part.  The 2nd part is so much easier and less interesting than the 1st part.  I have a 27 measure rest in The Prometheus Overture!

When you try really hard for something, and you don't succeed, it feels terrible.  You feel like you aren't very smart and you're not very good at what you are doing.  It crushes your confidence. 

After I found out my audition placement, I was really upset for around 15 minutes, but then I said to myself:  even though I'm third chair, I can still get the solo when we have an audition for that, because there is a short clarinet solo in March to the Scaffold.  I had also worked hard to learn how to play the solo well.

But then there was another disaster!  When we were rehearsing March to the Scaffold with Mr. Pearson, and we got to the solo part, all of the clarinets played it.  Then Mr. Pearson said that the solo was supposed to be played only by the first chair clarinet.  But it wasn't even a part of the seating audition!

Before the chair seating results, I was feeling great about practicing everyday.  I practiced a lot, and I practiced eagerly.  But after getting third chair, I didn't really want to practice at all.  I didn't practice on Saturday, and I only got to practicing on Sunday at 10:00 at night.

I found this web page that helped me think about the situation in a different way.

The article talks about 3 different ways to deal with failing at something you have worked hard for.

1.  Some people give up, blame other people, and blame circumstances for failing.  Don't do this.

2.  Some people keep doing the same thing over and over again with more determination without changing their strategy.  You can do this, but I wouldn't advise it.

3.  Some people change their strategy and try again.  If they fail again, they change their strategy again and try again.  They do this until they succeed.  This is the best idea.

Today and last night I changed my strategy and tried again.  I assumed that the problem with my practicing wasn't that I didn't practice enough, but that I didn't practice deliberately enough.  So last night and today, I practiced my scales and my technical exercises for a long time very very carefully.  I payed attention to my tone and the connections between the notes.  When I played some solos for fun after this type of practice, I played them better than I usually do.  Maybe this strategy will work and I won't make 3rd chair again. 

Maybe it won't.  If it doesn't, I'll change my strategy and try again.

Making I.M.E.A.

A couple of weeks ago, I tried out for I.M.E.A.  IMEA stands for the Illinois Music Educators Association or something like that.  They are the guys who do the all-district and all-state bands and orchestras.  Because I'm in sixth grade, I can only try out for the junior band.  There's no all-state junior band, just all-district.  It's still a big deal, because it's 6-8th graders competing for spots.

Going to the audition was very exciting and also very nerve-wracking.  I like auditions, because it is a challenge to prepare and I like competition, but they make me very nervous.  I try to pretend that I am totally prepared and ready for the auditions and that I'm not nervous, and it makes me a little less nervous, but really I am still am very nervous.

When I arrived, there were tons of people coming in and out of the school where the audition was, and some of them I recognized.  I was the only one from my school auditioning.  I walked into the school with my mom, my sister, and my baby brother.  My mom asked the person at the desk where the practice room was and where we should go for the audition.  She told us where both the rooms were and we went to the practice room.

The practice room was in the gym.  It was very crowded, and I saw my friend Marc there.  Marc was another 6th grade clarinetist who was trying out for IMEA.  I know him, because he is in the same youth orchestra as me last year and this year too.  Marc is a nice kid, and he is also very funny.  He likes sports like me.  He plays hockey, and I play soccer.

There wasn't very much time to warm up, and all I managed to do was a chromatic scale.  I was too nervous and too busy chatting with Marc to focus.  Were were talking about the audition and how few sixth graders were trying out.  Finally, it was time to go to my audition.  We left the gym and went back to the room with the information desk and then went upstairs.  The room where I was doing my audition scales was a science lab with all of the tables and equipment put to the side or in the closets which were overflowing.  The judge was at the teacher's desk, and there was a music stand and chair all alone in the middle of the room.  It made me feel even more nervous, because there was no one in the room except for the judge and me.  I played the audition scales well.  I was surprised.  I thought I would make more mistakes than I did.

Then I went down the hall to the room where I did my etude and some selections from the concert pieces I had to prepare.  I had to wait for someone else to finish.  The person after me got to go ahead of me, because I was a little late.  When I listened to the other kid play, I heard that she made a lot of mistakes.  It made me feel more confident that other people were making mistakes.  When she was finished, it was my turn, and I went in.  This room was similar to the other room with a judge and chair and a music stand in the middle of the room.  First, the judge asked me to play my etude.  I played it, but I made a few mistakes.  At the time, I was sure I wouldn't make it because of my mistakes.  Then I played a part of Canticle and a part of Chimes of Liberty.  I played them both as well as I could, and I didn't make any obvious mistakes with the notes or the rhythm.

Then I left the room.  I found Marc waiting outside.  He said he thought I did well.  Then he went in.  I listened to him play through the door.  He played very well, and I was sure that he was going to beat me.  Marc is a very good clarinetist.  He plays very differently from me.  He plays short staccato parts better than I do.  I like the long melodic legato parts.  I hate my staccatos!

After Marc finished his audition, we took a picture together.  My mom always brings her camera, and takes too many pictures.  It's kind of embarrassing.  It was time to go all the way to Highwood which is like an hour away from the audition school to get to MYA for pictures.  I had to change clothes in the car, and put on my uncomfy jacket and white shirt and bow tie for orchestra pictures.

All of this happened on Saturday.  I was sure I wouldn't make the audition, because of the mistakes I had made.  But, when I went to band on Thursday, my band teacher told me I had made first chair!  I felt really good about that (and surprised).  The way that they tell you if you made section-leader is to put a star next to your name.  There were two names among the clarinets who made it with stars by their names.  One of them was me and one of them was a kid named Theodore Mavrakis.  Theodore is really really good.  He won the junior woodwind divisionWalgreens Concerto competition last year (I think) and he plays in the Concert Orchestra at MYA, which is the orchestra above me.  My older brother plays viola in that orchestra. 

Anyway, it turns out they made a mistake.  The next morning, I woke up and my mom told me that Ms. Williams had emailed her and the star by my name was a mistake.  I had actually made 6th chair.  I felt really disappointed, but I wasn't really surprised.  I thought the day before that they might have made a mistake, because Theodore is really a lot better than me right now.  Besides how could they have a chair big enough for two clarinet players to sit in it at the same time?!  6th chair seems pretty good for a 6th grader.  Plus, it gives me something to shoot for for my 7th and 8th grade years.  I still get to play 1st clarinet at the concert on November 7.